How to handle your Inner Critic

Hello Dear One, 

Long before I knew what an inner critic was my life was ruled by it. 

A quick definition: the inner critic is part of you with negative things to say about your ability, appearance, or anything else it can get its hands on. You might become frustrated by it, or you feel you can’t move past the negative thoughts. 

Despite all that, it intends to keep you safe. 

At some point, someone said something about you and you made it mean something. It became easier to be hard on yourself than believe you are capable, loved and worthy.

I used to write in my inner critic’s voice. 

I know from diaries that it was germinating when I was eleven, in full force by thirteen.

By the time I was in my twenties, and working at one of the best PR consultancies in the country, my self-confidence had been hammered. My bosses praised me but I found it hard to believe them, or get rid of the anxious feeling in my tummy.

Alongside this ran a pattern of starting creative projects, hardly telling anyone and assuming they would fail. I pushed men away and held myself back from the thing I most wanted to do the most, write creatively. Not just because I was scared of failing, but because of the hard time I’d give myself when I did.

Now my relationship with myself is radically different.

I experience a peace within that I never thought possible.

I can honestly say I love myself.

This isn’t unique to me; all of us can change our self-talk.

How did I do it? I made a choice. 

When I read my diaries I saw how fierce my inner critic was, and that I believed it. This impacted the way I acted, felt and the things I aimed for. 

When your inner critic flares up, name it. 

Recognise it’s a part of you that feels scared.

Find compassion and reassure yourself that you are safe. 

Instead of battling listen to what it has to say. Write it all out. 

Then respond with: 

I don’t think I deserve that or that’s not true or that’s not fair.

Breathe. 

Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Note: your inner critic is usually louder when you’re making change, or going after something you really want. Those are the moments when it’s especially important to show up, interrupt the pattern

and do something different.

Yes, it might feel scary. But you can be afraid and move forward. 

Thanks for being here and being you. 

All love, 

Jo